Saturday, September 8, 2012

Pregnant and a broken leg

The headline is nothing new to our friends and those that relate to us on facebook.  Nancy is pregnant with a very active boy, due October 23rd by C section.  And Ryan, a reasonably good bike rider went for a short night time ride last Saturday night.  He was testing out a new helmet headlight. He crashed, breaking his right femur with a spiral fracture.

The good news is that I (Ryan) have limited injuries and am recovering well enough but will not be 100% until next year.  Already doing my stretches on my own and able to get in and out of bed to move about to get my own food and, well, the other end.  Nancy has had a reasonably good pregnancy, only now starting to show.

The bad news, I can't lift anything and I am laying down most of the time.  Nancy's sciatic nerve is becoming pinched.  She can lift less and less and is getting tired more and more.  My wonder woman Nancy is slowing down and I can not pick up the pace.  We need help.

We need help with Laundry and general house cleaning.
We need time to relax and not worry about Anna or Lilly. (Who are a big help but need some time to be kids)
Nancy needs a couple hours downtime to relax and probably cry this weekend, without the chores piling up while she does.
Ryan needs time to talk about his interest, the Bible, organic gardening, design, etc.... but not sports.  And I need to figure out how and when to get back to work.
I need help getting some honey do things done, such as finding some extension cords in our basement and installing upstairs, changing lightbulbs, checking smoke detectors, moving our very heavy todler bed.  Moving a clock radio, and teaching the neighbors cat to roll over and moving my car from the road to the garage.  Many one time simple but helpful tasks.

Some things, such as the Laundry  and house cleaning Nancy can do, Nancy stopped doing cloth diapers to lighten the load, and I am wearing less.  And it does not take much to wipe down the sink, toilet and shower.  But because Nancy is also helping me with sponge baths, stretches, pill management, nurse, doctor, and insurance management, cooking, changing Lilly, caring for the kids, disciplining the kids and more she has no down time.  No time to just sit and read, no time to can, no time to get out to the our own garden and pick the ripe stuff, no time to quilt.

The worry about asking for help is, we are both engineers, we are particular, we like good quality.  If someone gets the extension cord but leaves out the 4 boxes above it did they really help?  We need help that won't cause us more chores.  And we need help long term, it is two months til the baby is out, and another two or three after that til both of us are healed fully.

The other thing we also don't need is respiratory infections.  It will be bad if Nancy gets something, worse if I do and a hospital visit if Lilly does.

Unfortunately we cannot afford to pay for all the help we need.  (Thank goodness for a fully funded emergency fund that means we will have no problems financially.)  But Nancy will can and quilt her way out of the guilt of being a taker instead of her natural giving nature.