I have had three babies. All have been breastfed to a certain extent.
Anna was my first. We were in Detroit and I thought that my breasts would just work and it would be fine. After a few days she was loosing weight and I supplemented. The doctor told me to pump and only feed her by bottle. If you do any research on breastfeeding you will find out this is a bad thing. I didn't know any better and after a month Ryan told me to stop because I wasn't sleeping, kind of losing my mind.
I think I looked at her as a manual, just do what the book says and it should work. Once I quit trying and realized that I didn't fail, my body didn't work right in this case. Then I could look at her and love her. I saw her cues of when she wanted to eat and what she needed. I took the time to look in her eyes and to see that she was a beautiful daughter and gift from God.
We moved to Iowa and with Lilly I took a class on breastfeeding and made sure I had the teacher on speed dial. I rented a pump, came in for weighing, worked on technique, entered a support group, got a cute cover so I could nurse in public, took herbs and used the evil supplementer. The supplementer is a contraption you load with formula and tape it to yourself to feed the baby. It is supposed to stimulate your own milk production too. I used that about 2 months and then the hassle was too much. I nursed Lilly for 6 months total. I still was supplementing with more formula than my own milk that entire time. I know I tried my hardest and that I did what I could.
With Jonathan it has been different. Ryan broke his leg when I was 7 months pregnant. The thought of helping him with his recovery and taking care of my other two kids was overwhelming. Ryan and I talked for a while and decided that I do what I can and that is fine. No pumping, no herbs and no jumping though hoops. Just attach and detach. In this case he was fed for 2 months this way. When he kept refusing me I knew it was the end of breastfeeding.
All my kids are breastfed. All my kids at bottle fed. All my kids are loved.