So how do you feed a baby?

I have had three babies.  All have been breastfed to a certain extent.

Anna was my first.  We were in Detroit and I thought that my breasts would just work and it would be fine.  After a few days she was loosing weight and I supplemented.  The doctor told me to pump and only feed her by bottle.  If you do any research on breastfeeding you will find out this is a bad thing.  I didn't know any better and after a month Ryan told me to stop because I wasn't sleeping, kind of losing my mind.

 I think I looked at her as a manual, just do what the book says and it should work.  Once I quit trying and realized that I didn't fail, my body didn't work right in this case.  Then I could look at her and love her.  I saw her cues of when she wanted to eat and what she needed.  I took the time to look in her eyes and to see that she was a beautiful daughter and gift from God.

We moved to Iowa  and with Lilly I took a class on breastfeeding and made sure I had the teacher on speed dial.  I rented a pump, came in for weighing, worked on technique, entered a support group, got a cute cover so I could nurse in public, took herbs and used the evil supplementer. The supplementer is a contraption you load with formula and tape it to yourself to feed the baby.  It is supposed to stimulate your own milk production too.  I used that about 2 months and then the hassle was too much.  I nursed Lilly for 6 months total.  I still was supplementing with more formula than my own milk that entire time.  I know I tried my hardest and that I did what I could.

With Jonathan it has been different.  Ryan broke his leg when I was 7 months pregnant.  The thought of helping him with his recovery and taking care of my other two kids was overwhelming.  Ryan and I talked for a while and decided that I do what I can and that is fine.  No pumping, no herbs and no jumping though hoops.  Just attach and detach.  In this case he was fed for 2 months this way.  When he kept refusing me I knew it was the end of breastfeeding.

All my kids are breastfed.  All my kids at bottle fed.  All my kids are loved.